I remember when this used to be the cocaine hub of DC. Well, that was when you were five blocks over and one storey underground. Couldn’t be more different now. But I come here, and I see that old sign there hanging on the wall, and, if I get tipsy enough, and squint my eyes, […]
Everything in life disappears, sooner or later. Youth, energy, love, dreams, hope, and erections. Oh, and Malaysian airplanes.
Man, I blame so many people for all the bad shit that’s happened to me. The evil of my parents, the ingratitude and downright vicious usury of my idiot friends in high school, ex-lovers who are fucking retards for leaving me, and whoever was responsible for Galactica: 1980. Seriously, though. Sure, family, friends, and lovers […]
I figure that I can’t die until I’ve lived longer than the following people: Jesus Christ (33 — success!) Mom (46) Mohammed (62) Dad (69…uh…dude) Siddhartha (80)
I tried to play pool in Bethesda, MD on Sunday. I should have known better.
Like most normal, sane people, I had put high school behind me. The worst years of our lives, really, no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it. When the 20th reunion party planners contacted me, I was a little bit alarmed that (a) 20 years had passed and (b) those fucking assholes found me. […]
I’ve spent the past few years bemoaning the gentrification of Silver Spring. How the town has lost her charm, her spice. How our dive bars have died. How we’ve been colonized by hipsters, transplants, neo-yuppies, armchair liberals, and the saccharine, mindless masses of salary serfs and condo owners. How we must endure the herpes-like sores […]
Silver Spring’s historic dive bar, the Quarry House, is dead. What it used to be, that is. The old Quarry House. It’s taken me six years or so to come to grips with this.
I set out to review The Nest, a slightly off the beaten path yuppie hangout in Bethesda, MD, but then I found myself with the same problem as when I tried to review Fire Station One in Silver Spring. The Nest, while obviously a great date spot if you’re into that noisy herd of transplants […]
I have a dream. I’m going to move to New Orleans and open up a DC-themed bar. I’m going to call it “In Session” and set it up somewhere posh where we can pick up tourists and commuters. For all the expats, it’ll be a true home away from home. The first thing I’ll do […]