Category: Rants

Friday Zen: Third Doctor Edition

The miracle of vacuum tubes!

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Hi! It’s Labor Day

I have to keep updating or else Amazon will delist me on the Kindle whatever store. So…I figured I’d post a rebuttal to Lonnie Martin’s latest blog entry wherein he talks about getting lost in Prague and says that American cities — and, specifically, Washington, DC — are well planned out. This is in hopes […]

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On Nacho…

I have to update the GS blog because Amazon says they’ll ban me if I don’t. I don’t know if I actually care about it. It was just such a chastising sort of email. Like I’m the bad guy as opposed to the fact that they are Satan incarnate. But…that’s fine. Here’s the goddamned link […]

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Slavery for Fun and Profit

About a year ago, I discovered Slavery Footprint, which tracks the “virtual” slaves behind our posh lives here in the world’s last, great empire. Because I’m a Luddite who wears the same clothes for 20 years (or until they fall to pieces like some sort of lunatic castaway leaping around on the shore of an […]

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Confessions

Between 1992-1995, I stole $30,000 from the County, and it felt good.

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The Finger

I have finally completed my 20 year study on why women think it’s acceptable to stick their fingers up your ass. The results are below.

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The Commander

I was the third generation of my family to go to our eye doctor, Dr. Bradley. A Navy man! Old Commander Bradley! He’ll fix you right up. He worked on my grandparents, their kids, and then we hit my generation and his one time humble office had turned into a bustling, popular practice with four […]

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Get in there, boy!

The question asked one happy hour was: If you could go back and give your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Everyone had the usual answers like invest in Google or whatever. I think that’s the 40 year old in all of us talking. I think we should pause […]

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Haste Makes Waste

I learned my “haste makes waste” lesson from Catherine Tolnay, my 4th grade teacher at my Catholic grade school. And I hope she died a lonely death at the end of a hard, empty life.

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The Nice Guy

There was this girl from high school who was extraordinarily beautiful. Blonde, blue eyed, tall, built like a super model. And I mean built like a super model the way you think a super model is built, not the weird Auschwitz giraffes they are when you see them live. The way you think Christie Brinkley […]

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