Tricky Dicks & Slick Willies
Every so often, the right combination of factors (a woman, boredom, stolen computer equipment) come together where I seriously consider starting a porno site.
The Nacho Sasha Porn Site Idea has gone through many phases. The first, of course, was “filthywomenathome.com.”
Initially, the idea wasn’t really pornographic. Just a pair of nude women doing regular household chores all related to cleaning – taking out the trash, doing the dishes, dusting. 24/7 household chores. It was pointed out that, in short order, the place would be immaculate and there’d be nothing to clean. So my proposal was, once a day, to have a man in a bear suit (with a hole cut out for his raging hard-on) come on the set and really dirty the place up. Piles of dust, broken bottles, dumping off laundry and dishes. Maybe one of the girls would suck off the bear while the other yelled at him for being so dirty. Then – back to cleaning.
The next time I felt that I had the slim opportunity for a porn site, I wanted to cash in on the reality show thing. This would have been “cumguzzlerhouse.com.” Like 1900 House. So everybody would be in period costume and would be fucking all the time, intermixed with actual reality stuff like living off the land or using oil lamps or whatever.
I was really desperate when I cooked up “publicunprotectedanal.com.” Two people having unprotected anal sex in public places. I was inspired by an incident in the National Cathedral in DC which I’m not allowed to talk about because now there’s a restraining order and it’s all quite awkward.
I’m currently thinking just a straight-up sex site. Me fucking girls, except I’ll wear a Nixon mask and all the girls will wear a Clinton mask. And kilts. I’ll call it “kiltedpresidentialcreampie.com.”
(I have a recent fascination with creampies…)
All I lack is the woman. Who’s up for it? Let me know. firstname.lastname@example.org. You have to be clean, on birth control, not a fatty, an anal freak, and have no gag reflex. Also, you’ll need a working knowledge of Nixon’s 1960 presidential campaign, because I want to do story-oriented porn. Except the story will always be Nixon losing in 60 and, so, pounding the fuck out of Bill Clinton and saying things like “I am not an anal creampie!” And then the girl will turn her Bill Clinton face to the camera and say “it all depends what you mean by ‘creampie’.”
I picked Clinton because it seems kind of weird fucking JFK. But I am in the market for a make-up artist so we can put a second girl (not sexually involved) in a Kennedy mask and then blow her head off right when Nixon cums.