Nine years ago, I wrote an article titled Cheeta Lives which, as I review it today, appears to have been written under the influence of Sudafed and illegally imported bathtub gin. At the time, Cheeta was 71 years old and living the high life in a retirement home, fawned after by nurses and addicted to bad TV and copies of National Geographic which, apparently, he sat and “read” through cover to cover each month.
On Christmas Day, as the haze of gift-giving and a heavy breakfast rolled into the afternoon, I grabbed the paper and found myself reading Cheeta’s obituary. The obit was, sadly, a little critical, detailing Cheeta’s prima donna attitude on set. His hate for Maureen O’Sullivan – Tarzan’s Jane – was severe and he would bite her and chase her at every opportunity, often ruining multiple takes. O’Sullivan spent the rest of her life referring to Cheeta as “that bastard,” and telling anyone who would listen about the chimp’s transgressions. Cheeta outlived her, but her daughter was on Twitter within moments of Cheeta’s death with a healthy helping of yuletide bitterness, retracted later in the day.
Cheeta’s nurses, however, report that he was a perfect gentleman. And now he’s in pet heaven. Being savaged by one of the Lassies.
Birthday today. 37. Scary. I can post whatever I want today, though. That’s the rule. You all made this rule, not me. I am but a servant of Rome.
Continue reading ‘Questionable Archives’
From the archives…a review of the first season Space:1999 DVD boxset.
Continue reading ‘Cult Culture Archive: Space: 1999, Series One’
From the archives (2006): A review of the original 1986 Transformers movie.
Continue reading ‘Cult Culture Archive: Transformers: The Movie’
Wow… I just ran across this in my archives and figured I’d cheat on one of my project Monday posts.
This is from March 11, 2001. Greatsociety (then called Dirtyfreaks.com) started up on April 15th of that year. The idea was to have a bunch of regular series and not just random, nonsensical rants. A dream I never achieved! But, there in March ’01, I believed I’d be able to stick to the plan… So here’s the lineup I planned with several other authors. (Back then, we had five people writing for the page.)
Continue reading ‘Greatsociety: March 11, 2001 Notes’
There’s a certain wildman in Bethesda, MD whose iPod keeps shuffling back to Donovan songs. Over the last few back deck sessions at his Palace of Wonders, I’ve found myself thinking again and again about an old story I wrote. It’s back on the antique GS page, and I’ll reprint it here… Because I have nothing better for you this week. I didn’t run the spellchecker through it, either, because I’m awesome.
Continue reading ‘The Tiger’s Path’
Final week of my bullshit archive posts! This is one of the first ever for GS, and probably the one that made Nacho really take me under his wing. That, and I also usually delivered something on time in an era where all the old Dirty Freaks were either fleeing the ship or getting bogged down in other projects/life drama. This one–an imaginary tagalong with the contemporary collective memory of Kurt Cobain incarnate–people always remember, but I’m not sure why. I think it’s an interesting idea, I just wish I could’ve come up with a better name than “KC-Ike.”
Continue reading ‘The Cassander Canon: I’d Rather Be Dead than Cool’
We’re running my supposedly finer material from the past while I take some extra time to write some stories that need a little more attention. This week, one I’ve never felt completely sure about but that Nacho likes quite a bit, a fake feature article about kids who let other people hit them in the head with rocks in order to achieve temporary comas. Early 21st century satire, ladies and gentlemen!
Continue reading ‘The Cassander Canon: Meet the Tosers’
I’m currently on reverse sabbatical…taking time off from weekly updates to work on longer material with which to wow you next month. In the meantime we’re doing a kind of greatest hits thing. This is my obituary for Hunter S. Thompson, a Patron Saint around here at GS.
Continue reading ‘The Cassander Canon: RIP HST’
I’m taking a sabbatical this month, so you’re getting old school pre-2006 hiatus golden nuggets! This week is “Cunt, Snatch, and Glory,” an excerpt from my unfinished, unnamed novel about a groupe of people who never left the small Ohio college town after they graduated and who wreck the lives of contemporary students there. It was not that great except for some chapters like this. Enjoy!
Continue reading ‘The Cassander Canon: Cunt, Snatch and Glory’