Haven’t done one of these in a while! I stopped partly because these started to depress me. These are real calls. Looking back on them, for me, is more scary than funny. The other reason is that I ran out of ones that are anonymous. I have lots more, but the really juicy ones are tough because they tend to involve names and personal details — like the guy who just screamed his Social Security number over and over again until I hung up on him, and the lady who couldn’t spell her own name…
Today, though, I got a real doozy of a call. So here it is for your enjoyment. A lady struggling with our online membership application form. This lady was an American, so no language barrier. And remember that all these options she struggled with are drop down menus.
Continue reading ‘Customer Service Transcripts #12′
After whining about my weekend job yesterday, I had the stark realization that I’ve never had fewer than two jobs since I started working at 16. And, throughout, I kept up with high school and college… Which, I suppose, counts as another job. So I’ve never had just one job, if you go with that idea.
It all began in 1990 when I started working at a teeny tiny bookstore. It’s two rooms tacked onto the servant’s entrance at a big mansion built back in the 20’s. The bookstore deals in specialty shit — conservation, birding, and related nonsense. No mainstream books, no bookstore stress. In fact, through thick and thin, it’s a great example of how a niche bookstore can be successful even in this “death of print” era. The mainstream shit is everywhere… But if you want the weird shit, well, you gotta go to it.
Of course, that was before the rise of the “e-sellers” like Amazon. But, even then, our shop was first to make use of Amazon’s used bookstore and a sort of guerrilla Luddite movement that catered to people’s fear of technology, sense of loyalty, and need for instant, hands-on gratification.
Continue reading ‘Resume of a Wage Slave, Part One’
My day job, as you’ve no doubt gathered from the customer service transcript posts, is fucking insane. It doesn’t demand much brainpower, and, in fact, I have enough spare time to run a publishing company, act as a consultant for another publisher, and juggle a handful of freelance writing gigs as well as maintain silly shit like this blog. I probably shouldn’t complain.
Continue reading ‘Customer Service’
October is marred by “Customer Service Week,” where we all get together and play games, solve puzzles, and participate in absurd activities that, at best, call to mind a kindergarten class composed entirely of retards who have had those four hour energy drinks injected into their eyeballs.
Continue reading ‘Nacho’s Rejected Customer Service Week Activities’