Tag Archive for 'Rants'

I was the third generation of my family to go to our eye doctor, Dr. Bradley. A Navy man! Old Commander Bradley! He’ll fix you right up.

He worked on my grandparents, their kids, and then we hit my generation and his one time humble office had turned into a bustling, popular practice with four locations around the area. This eventually morphed into a sort of teaching practice, and he’d wander around with a gaggle of eye doctor students hanging on his every word whilst his optometrist peons slavishly worked away, seemingly too terrified of the great master to even speak to the patients.
Continue reading ‘The Commander’

I was fool enough at a New Year’s party to ask a group of friends where, 20 years ago, they imagined they would be in 2013. Most folks had an answer, the usual stuff, and, as we went around the circle and my turn approached, I realized that I thought I’d be dead long before now. So, I said as much.
Continue reading ‘Dead by 25′

I read the other day that dolphins are the only other animals on earth that masturbate for pleasure. Which sort of put a whole new spin on “sailor’s best friend,” eh? There you are bobbing in the ocean as your ship goes down and here comes a dolphin — kikikiki — and the dolphin lets you grab on as it takes you to safety. Maybe you flop onto a piece of wreckage, or even find land. Then, exhausted, chest heaving, you lay there staring into the stormy skies and…the dolphin jacks off onto your stomach and then swims away. Kikikikikiki!

It wouldn’t be common knowledge, of course. I, for one, wouldn’t share that tidbit when retelling my “saved by a dolphin” story to the local paper.
Continue reading ‘The Strokes’