The question asked one happy hour was: If you could go back and give your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?
Everyone had the usual answers like invest in Google or whatever. I think that’s the 40 year old in all of us talking. I think we should pause and take a look at what makes life worth living.
I would tell my 18 year old self to get snipped. Then fuck absolutely everything possible.
Continue reading ‘Get in there, boy!’
One thing about women I’ve really come to hate is when they say they’re good in the bedroom. Because they never are, are they? Every woman I’ve been with has playfully told me this but, once I get them in the sack, the only thing they’re a master of is some long lost chapter of the Kama Sutra: The Dead Turtle, The Fallen Log, The Elderly Bassett Hound.
Continue reading ‘Hubris’
Well, it’s taken twenty years, but I have finally managed to have sex on every desk and at every workstation at my weekend job.
Continue reading ‘Checking my list…’
I’ve figured out that the only way I can enjoy sex is if I do it someplace unusual. Not like on a pedestrian bridge over the Interstate, just anywhere outside of the bedroom. This can range from the innocent (my apartment’s balcony), to the guilt-ridden (a dark antechamber in the National Cathedral).
Typically, though, I pick mundane spots. Here’s a list!
Continue reading ‘Unusual Positions’