Author Topic: The Alien Franchise  (Read 18501 times)

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Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #135 on: May 16, 2017, 07:53:49 AM »
I'm obsessed with Rick & Morty now after marathoning the entire series in three days. Their little Alien sell-out piece makes my cockles warm. (They do sell out shit like this all the time, usually making fun of whatever it is they've been given oodles of money to peddle.)


Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #136 on: May 19, 2017, 12:56:46 PM »
I snuck out and saw Alien: Covenant last night. It's better than it deserves to be even though it's pretty much a Force Awakens style reboot/remake of the first movie with some Prometheus apology scenes thrown in for good measure.

The movie is best enjoyed by convincing yourself you've never seen an Alien movie before and all this is new. (This is also the film's major problem. Everything is telegraphed from a million miles away because you've seen it before.) Based on my Prometheus experience, I expected it to be slow and nonsensical, but it's actually quite thrilling even if the human characters in these movies are still making some of the dumbest choices ever. The biggest problem is it takes too long to get to what we know is coming and once it gets there, it barrels through the "good stuff" too fast. What the Alien movies really need is a Mad Max: Fury Road style strip down. All style and action with very little plot and story. The Prometheus parts of the story doesn't bog it down but demystifying the Alien adds nothing. Well, almost nothing. (I won't spoil the big reveal, though it hasn't been a well kept secret.) Just characters trying to get from A to B being chased by Aliens is really all these movies need.

Technically, it might be the best Alien movie ever. Some reviews have bitched about the CGI alien, but the speed this thing moves is both physically believable and awesome to watch. It almost made the Alien scary again. Sets are great. Sci-fi is (mostly) believable. Performances are fun. Fassbender in particular chews the scenery is a super-satisifying way.

RC says check it out... as long as you're fully aware it's basically a modern day remake of the first film.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2017, 01:40:35 PM by RottingCorpse »

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #137 on: May 19, 2017, 01:25:10 PM »
And Danny McBride playing a serious role works? or is he playing a Kotto/Stanton mash-up?

Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #138 on: May 19, 2017, 01:29:25 PM »
It works. And you're knowledge of him as fucking gonzo in everything else actually helps because his character sort of internalizes that. (He's the pilot.)

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #139 on: May 19, 2017, 01:35:11 PM »
Man. I'm so burned after Prometheus I almost can't bring myself to believe you...

Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #140 on: May 19, 2017, 01:47:14 PM »
Oh, this thing is miles better than Prometheus. If anything, it makes Prometheus look even worse (if that's possible) thought weirdly relies on a few Prometheus plot points when it's unnecessarily explaining itself. You feel like the producers realized they kind of fucked up and are trying to make it right.

Overall, the movie is quite well done, maybe the best after Alien and Aliens. Just don't expect anything mind-blowingly original. I don't know if hitting all the familiar beats really well qualifies as a success, but maybe that's all we can ask for at this point.

And the Alien is pretty cool when it finally shows up.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2017, 02:03:42 PM by RottingCorpse »

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #141 on: July 07, 2017, 11:26:43 AM »
What's that? You want me to live blog Alien: Covenant? But... That sort of makes me feel like:


Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #142 on: July 07, 2017, 11:45:00 AM »
Wait... Did I get the wrong movie? This opening sequence is every Turing-test android movie made in the last 15 years poured into 5 minutes so far...

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #143 on: July 07, 2017, 11:46:05 AM »
Personally, I'd go full on ScarJo Ghost in the Shell if I were to design an android. I wouldn't make a fully grown gay man.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #144 on: July 07, 2017, 11:47:29 AM »
Oh god, yes! A colonist vessel with thousands of sleepers and embryos! That's a brilliant update! Alien buffet! All you can eat! Devour 1100 embryos and win a t-shirt!

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #145 on: July 07, 2017, 11:49:56 AM »
Mother's back! Instantly don't trust her. And since they have to be traveling FTL, the energy sales don't make sense. But that's fine.

Also very upset that the movie didn't open up on a Jones close-up.


Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #146 on: July 07, 2017, 11:53:23 AM »
Good job, Mother.

Hey, some shit happened and it's going to blow us up. I'm totally going to just sit here now and wait for orders instead of take any sort of action to discharge my primary duty of not letting the ship get fucked up. *yawn*

Cue: Remaking the initial ship in danger sequence from Pitch Black.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #147 on: July 07, 2017, 11:55:13 AM »
Totally going to get that class action suit going against the maker of the stasis pods. "If bumped, interior of stasis pods will fill with a highly flammable gas."

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #148 on: July 07, 2017, 12:09:06 PM »
We're going to see this Hellraiser room again aren't we? What is it with this franchise and chains?

Offline nacho

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Re: The Alien Franchise
« Reply #149 on: July 07, 2017, 12:13:34 PM »
I like how we see catastrophic damage being done to the stasis pods and they just sort of handwave the "we lost 48 colonists" thing. Yeah, the ship got fucked, but we still had time to check all 2000 pods and 1100 embryos in the last 40 minutes to make a count. Anyway! It's not about the colonists! It;'s about us! And we have to drink BOURBON!

B-team caretaker crew in the house!