In an attempt to defeat the passive writer's block that seems to have gripped me, and everyone else who contributes to GS, I've decided to put together a selection of meaningless rants that will cheapen the front page.  I mean, cheapen it more than it already is.  I don't know...was it ever not cheap?

This technique has been decided on as a healthier and more productive alternative to picking up 14 year old crack whores who let you wallop them up the ass for $15 a shot.  Though the crack whore method is a proven step towards curing writer's block, and headaches, it is a bit more costly than just writing about anal sex with crack whores on my retarded webpage, which is free, innocent and fun.

Not that $15 is costly to me these days, mind you, but let's just say that I have lots of wallop.  Or, perhaps, that I enjoy walloping. 

Besides, it's not just the money.  There's wear and tear on my car and, unlike in Albuquerque, picking up crack whores in DC is tough business as they're all armed with MAC-10's and are feverishly republican.

Or are those my co-workers?  Crack whores, co-workers, the difference really is fifteen extra dollars.

Incidentally, I find it amusing that there's a huge hooker element at Catholic University of America.  Girls traveling in pairs, driving around, pulling up next to johns at traffic lights and asking them if they want to party.  While CUA girls are considerably more expensive than crack whores, they are operating freelance.  It shows both verve and ingenuity.  Mom and dad are paying for the education; the girls are just making some extra on the side.  And they're Catholic, which means they've been shoving chair legs up their asses and fucking football teams since they were nine years old.

I like Catholic girls.

Anyway, turning to quick-rants as a release, because then I won't have to worry about social diseases or finding my car keys or wondering if I really should check the engine whenever the check engine light comes on.  This way, I can sit here and write however many words while waiting for the next delivery from Netflix which, arguably, is the cause for my writer's block.  That and obsessing about whatever's growing on my toe.

And masturbation.  I should add that chronic masturbation has really cut into my writing time.  This could probably be branched into the sex discussion...  You know, I should just get it over with and pay one of my co-workers the $15 for a solid deep dicking.  Or fisting.  Or walloping, which encompasses the whole spectrum from cock to chair leg.