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Cult Culture: Space 1999 (Season Two) |
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Written by nacho
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Oh,
how the mighty have fallen. The last season ended with the Alphans
finding Mankind's lost homeworld and addressing the universal questions
about our destiny. Now, it's time for the series to be dragged into a
back alley where a stranger from the studio will force it to fellate
him.
Fred Freiberger is the name of this criminal. Gerry and Sylvia Anderson broke up, and Space: 1999
felt the shockwave. The show fell into the greedy claws of the studio
and, as studios do, they destroyed everything the fans came to love in
the first season.
Now, don't read me wrong. The second season had some great moments. The
big problem was that the transition was handled poorly and the general
theme of the show changed violently. Instead of gothic, introspective
sci-fi horror we now had colorful, goofy science fantasy with quirky
new characters. Barry Morse - scientist, philosopher and loyal friend
to Martin Landau's character - is gone without explanation. In fact,
most of the crew has changed. The computer expert is gone, stoic Paul
Morrow has left, Zienia Merton's character would fade before the end of
the season, and all of the familiar faces from Main Mission have
inexplicably vanished. Characters who were nobodies, really, but you
notice their absence.
We still have Landau and Barbara Bain, of course. Australian flyboy
Nick Tate is still on board. But those are the only hints that this is
the same show and not "Space: 1999 the Next Generation."
To further confuse the viewer, they even bother to have an opening
sequence where Barbara Bain sets up the change - it's been over a year
since the last episode, and there have been several Alphan fatalities.
She lists the fatalities, but none of them are people we know. Weird.
Worse yet, the rock-out title sequence has changed, too. We get a
frightfully low-key version of the original theme and the dramatic "In
This Episode" clips have been removed in favor of gauzy-looking
renderings of the moon moving out of orbit. The intro teasers have been
dropped as well. We go right into this emasculated opening sequence,
then cut to a moon shot where, for most of the season, there's a three
minute slow start while Barbara Bain makes her always annoying
"Moonbase Alpha Status Report," which is just an excuse not to set up
the story each week.
The sets have closed in. The expansive, window-wrapped Main Mission has
been moved to a "Control Center" deep within the bowels of the
moonbase, set up roughly like a bridge from a spaceship-based sci-fi
program.
Now, roll out the new characters. No time to wonder where the cast
went, because we start out right away with these new people. There's
Tony, chief of security and second in command of Alpha. Okay, folks,
we're halfway across the universe in unknown space and, suddenly, there
are new people? Maybe Tony was promoted from the lower ranks after
every single supporting actor from the first season got in a space ship
and moved to Missoula. But how about explaining that? We open up with
the first episode of the new season and here's this new guy, and
they're all squeezed into the new control room, and everyone's goofing
around while the viewing audience sits there and wonders if they missed
about 20 episodes.
At least the addition of one of the title stars is explained. With
Barry Morse gone, the show needs a new scientist. Enter the lovely
Catherine Schell. She's got legs, hair, a great face and, most
importantly, cleavage. She plays the shape-shifter Maya, the last
survivor of her race, who joins the Alpha team after Landau convinces
her that Human cock is the way to go. She falls in love with Tony,
changes into one of five monsters each week (mouse, falcon, bug-eyed
beast, hairy troll, Martin Landau clone) and acts as a tool to explain
everything to the audience.
"Yes, Commander, my people have run into these aliens before and here's
what they are and here's what they want and here's how to stop them.
Now, let's walk through the remainder of the script and act like it's
really painful for us to be tied to a contract for 22 more episodes."
In an attempt to develop the "human aspect," which the show was
unjustly criticized as lacking in the first season, we spend plenty of
time getting to know the hooch-swilling Tony and his artificially
written relationship with Maya. A general thaw of the Landau-Bain
relationship is also written in, though this is a bit more successful
because it was always sorta there in the first season. Nick Tate fills
the buddy role, when Landau needs a sidekick on a dangerous mission and
Bain's contract forbids her from breaking a nail during filming.
This clumsy response to ignorant critics goes a long way towards making
the second season extraordinarily painful. There was a human element in
the first season, but it was far more sublime and genuine than the fake
70's sitcom nonsense we get between Maya and Tony. Like we need that
motivation to get upset if Maya is captured? Come on, she's their most
valuable asset, and she's pretty. We don't need help to be worried.
One good thing is the father-daughter relationship between Landau and
Maya, something that Star Trek will steal with Picard and Data. So the
more-human Landau writing works well, but it doesn't save us from
wondering what the hell's going on.
Each episode is opened by Barbara Bain's personal log, the "Moonbase
Alpha Status Report," which, disconcertingly, jumps around the
timeline. Occasionally, an episode takes place in the year after the
Moon left Earth orbit, but do we get old characters back? No, of course
not. My favorite goof, though, is when the finale of a two-parter takes
place years after the first part, according to the Status Report,
though the episode still picks up where the previous week's
freeze-frame cliffhanger left off. Now that's bad writing.
While there's much to complain about, the second season delivers good
sci-fi about 60% of the time. All of the origin of Humanity stuff is
gone, as are the insane Humans from lost missions that fell into time
warps, but that's okay because they've been replaced by an endless
array of heavily armed rubber-suit aliens. No, wait, that's not okay!
If there's a theme to the second season, it's more of Man against
Nature instead of Man against Man. Some of my favorite episodes come
out of the second season - "The Rulers of Luton" pits the Alphans
against a world dominated by plants, bent on the destruction of flesh
creatures. "All That Glisters" delivered a groovy crazy crewmember
episode. The Alphans contacted Earth, located an ancient species buried
in the moon and brought us action packed, poorly constructed episodes
each week.
The season takes a plunge, marked clearly by the Maya's Crazy episode.
There are some saving moments in the final eight episodes - most
notably an homage to season one ghost stories - but don't expect
anything to bounce back. Despite faint glimmers of hope, everything
after the Maya's Crazy episode is offensive.
Freiberger, by the way, destroyed every show he touched. After Space: 1999 failed, he went on to destroy the final season of the Six Million Dollar Man. Then he served as the dictator of Iraq until 2003.
It's a real shame, too. 1999 had the usual list of powerful guest
stars. The directors would all go on to create big shows and movies you
know well. The writers were all the best from Dr. Who and Twilight Zone
and big screen efforts that you probably own right now on DVD. True
ability was flushed down the drain. That's what makes the second season
especially horrifying. It's the "What Could Have Been" season. An
ignoble ending for a show that was unique and inventive when it began.
Your episode list:
The Metamorph
The guest star who played "The Guardian of Piri" in the first season
returns as Maya, the shapely metamorph. Catherine Schell is in the
credits, so it's not really surprising when she has a change of heart,
does not feed Martin Landau's brains to her father's insane computer
and joins the crew. Brian Blessed also guests.
The Exiles
In the midst of shape-changing shenanigans with Maya, the Alphans
repeat a mistake they made in the first season and thaw out insane, ass
fucking demons bent on destroying the universe. But it's not Peter
Bowles this time, it's a couple of kids who represent a large group of
troublemakers. Teenagers are bad!
One Moment of Humanity
Stop me when this sounds like a Star Trek rip-off, or when you start to
think that Fred Freiberger should be drawn and quartered. So androids
capture - What? No, sorry, let me finish. So androids capture our stars
and force them to demonstrate Humanity so that they may - What? Really,
let me finish.
All That Glisters
Thank the Maker! A crazy rock tried to kill our stars on Bizarro World!
Back to basics - greed and madness! It's a crazy crewmember episode!
(It's actually that Star Trek episode with the salt sucking
woman-beast, if you want to get technical.)
Journey to Where
Freddie Jones guest stars as a scientist on Earth, some 500 years in
our future. This is good enough to be a year one episode. Future Earth
is a hopeless wasteland, thanks to the Moon destroying the environment.
But the remnants of Mankind have developed a way to transport the
Alphans home. First - we test the device. Landau, Bain and Nick Tate go
in for the ride...and get trapped in 14th Century Scotland! Classic
adventure stuff. A favorite episode from the entire series.
The Taybor
Oh, but now Fred Freiberger is back from vacation. The Taybor is a
galactic trader and, like us, he appreciates Maya's cleavage. So much
so that he kidnaps her. I can see where he's coming from.
The Rules of Luton
Landau and Maya are held prisoner by a planet where Larch Trees rule
and sentence flesh creatures to death. Or, in this case, to fight other
flesh creatures. To make it more fun, Landau will be wounded and losing
blood fast while Catherine Schell will actually get the chance to act.
Too bad the script is a hodge podge of Twilight Zone, Star Trek and
Lost in Space episodes and appears to have been written overnight with,
possibly, a 12 year old suggesting the finale. "And then they find...the
flesh creature's last stand! And then they...they...talk their way out of
it and, uh, cut to commercial and pretend five minutes of the story had
been cut out by the network." This is a crap episode, but I've always
enjoyed it.
The Mark of Archanon
Jesus Christ! The Alphans once again thaw out immortal ass-fucking demons! Stop it!
Brian the Brain
(Nacho tries to think of something good to say instead of ranting about Fred Freiberger)
New Adam, New Eve
Oh? What? A cool episode? Again, yes, it's a shining star from the
season and a good episode for the series. A creature posing as God
steals our main cast members and sets them up on a new Eden. Is he God?
Or is he just a powerful being who, in turn, worships a larger god? Are
the Alphans breaking from the lessons they learned in the first season,
bucking against some of the deeper, metaphysical avenues that the show
explored? Good stuff, all around.
Catacombs of the Moon
Crazy crewmembers and an approaching firestorm. The crazy crewmember
episodes can usually hold water. This one takes place in the caves deep
beneath the moonbase, so we get some spooky sets and great mine-shaft
showdowns.
The A B Chrysalis
The delectable Sarah Douglas stars as one of the naked supermodels in
an episode that could have been great. Our heroes go down to a planet
to see why an alien race is trying to destroy the moon, only to find
that the aliens are just waking up after a lengthy period in stasis.
Seed of Destruction
Landau is kidnapped by an alien who sends an evil doppelganger back to
Alpha, and nobody notices for 45 minutes as he becomes increasingly
insane. The real Martin Landau returns for a dreadful "No! I'm the real
one! Shoot him!" showdown. Yes, it's like that Star Trek episode with the goatees.
The Beta Cloud
Darth Vader Dave Prowse guest stars as Da Monster! Maya gets to turn
into a fly, which is a nice change. This is standard robot monster
attack stuff, with a comically lousy villain - a disembodied voice
telling everyone that they'll escape death if they commit suicide.
Straight up action, though, so that's cool.
A Matter of Balance
Anti-matter creatures strike again. Except where season one's "Matter
of Life and Death" was an introspective episode, this one has an anti
matter dude who likes gold lame hotpants.
Space Warp
Maya's Gone Crazy! Every sci-fi series needs an episode like this. It's what we call "Spock's Brain syndrome."
The Bringers of Wonder
The series is on the chopping block, so they call out a two parter.
This one was good enough to re-edit into "Destination Moonbase Alpha"
which appeared as a TV movie in the early 80's and, for most of us, was
the introduction to the series. It's a worthy episode, too, except for
plot holes I could part my car in. Giant blancmanges with big eyes come
to kill everyone. Oh! Sorry, that's the finale. Actually, the Alphans
are pleased to meet a shipload of family members and loved ones from
Earth...who are not what they seem! Only Martin Landau, suffering from
Space Herpes, can see the aliens in their true form. But nobody
believes him for 90 goddamned minutes!
The Lambda Factor
We get some Landau backstory but, more importantly, an impish blonde
with a great rack has been given psychic superpowers thanks to a
mysterious space cloud...and she's insane!
The Séance Specter
Opening up in the middle of the story, Landau and Nick Tate rush back
to Alpha to tend to an emergency in the command center - a group of
miners have gone nuts, formed a cult and put a paranoid in charge who
thinks Landau is the devil. They try to take over Alpha in the ultimate
crazy crewman episode.
Dorzak
A survivor from Maya's homeworld shows up as a prisoner. He's insane,
but Maya just can't believe that he's an immortal ass-fucking demon so
she frees him, teaches him the secret of shape changing, lets him knock
her out and assume her form and wreak havoc. Maya doesn't like cheddar
cheese! What's going on here! You're not ---AAAHHH!
Devil's Planet
Landau lands on a prison planet run by Ilse, She Wolf of the SS and her
lesbian prison guards. Little do they know that their homeworld has
been destroyed. Now Landau must convince them of that fact and escape
and give the cameraman plenty of opportunity to soft focus on scantily
clad women. Well he succeed?
The Immunity Syndrome
Alphans are driven crazy by a glow-light alien on a pretty planet.
After some crazy crewman moments, Landau gets to talk to the alien and
work things out. We get some great scenes where our boys discover what
remains of a previous alien expedition to the planet - all bones and
dusty captain's logs. Nice work, there. This was intended to be the
final episode in the series (and it is, with a rewritten ending, in the
novels). Alas, we have one more episode to deal with...
The Dorcons
Starring Patrick Troughton, the second Dr. Who, this is the bottom of
the barrel. The money is gone, everybody but the title stars and Tony
have left the show, and Alpha faces imminent destruction. Deep down,
this is an okay episode. It tries for greatness, and we're fed some
good explosions and a final, desperate moment where the command center
fills with the wounded and the frightened. That moment almost outweighs
the chickenwire sets and the fact that there's no money for slow
motion, so the actors have to pretend to be thrown slowly across the
room. But then we get Landau's worse-than-Shatner brawling and a
conclusion that appears to have been written on the day of filming.
It's quite embarrassing.
The Bonus Disc
Released in March 2003 after several years of fending off attacks from
the fans. It's focused on season one and features the much sought
after, fan-produced "Message from Moonbase Alpha" mentioned in my last
review, an interview from the year 2 set designer (which is rehashed
from one of the year two DVD's because A&E are cheapskates), and an
alternate sequence from "Collision Course" that is actually quite
interesting.
Commentary tracks include a witty, informative and must-watch
commentary by Sylvia Anderson on season one finale "Testament of
Arkadia." She barely even mentions the episode and, instead, talks
about where the show was going, what they were trying to do and why she
had to leave. It's one hour of solid series history.
Writer Johnny Byrne and story consultant Christopher Penfeld speak on
"Dragon's Domain" (one of my favorite episodes). Byrne is the man
behind the "human factor" in the first season - the metaphysical god
stuff, eventually culminating in "Testament of Arkadia." He talks a
little about that but, sadly, sticks with the episode and general
anecdotes about filming.
Space: 1999 guru Scott Bosco talks over "Death's Other
Dominion." Now he does get more into what Johnny Byrne was doing and
the series as a whole, especially the direction of the first season and
how things became re-envisioned in the second season. Another great
historical commentary that has nothing to do with the particular
episode.
The three episodes themselves are remastered for the bonus disc and I
have a sneaking suspicion that they're better quality than what we get
in the box sets... But I'm a paranoid shut-in who just watched over 25
hours of Space: 1999, so don't listen to me.
Nacho's gin rating: If you're a die-hard fan, then you've got to
swallow season two. If you're a casual fan, watch the episodes I single
out as good ones and save your soul. |
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For the love of god, we've changed the front page. Stop emailing me! You now have to go to WWW.GREATSOCIETY.ORG. Just lose the "fpm" up there. These are the archives. |
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